What goes and what stays

Embarking on a new journey, whether in the neighbourhood next door or on another continent, requires a certain amount of courage. The motivation for the change may have been studies, a new job, or simply because one felt it was time. Moving in with friends, a partner, or even alone suggests that dynamics and one's subjective positioning will change.

Being in a different environment than the one you grew up in also implies stepping out of the position of "child"; it is about becoming more active in decision-making, generating a subjective change, a shift in how you see and position yourself. Whether on the other side of the ocean or in the neighbouring district, deciding how your family habits will be, where you will sit at the table, how the dishes will be arranged, how meals will be prepared... The list is endless.

What stays is not necessarily what remains forever, as we are mutable and the result of the ensemble of people who pass through our lives. Making decisions with more autonomy can be a generator of relief as well as distress, which always go hand in hand.

It is not possible to venture into something new and only experience the good and positive side of everything. Being in unprecedented situations can lead us to explore (or not) feelings of helplessness, discomfort, and insecurity. Or perhaps, immense joy at being able to take the reins of one's own existence and navigate it as one pleases.

To be in a new place implies presenting yourself in a different way, and this can often be challenging. It does not mean that changes come in solitude, after all, no matter how independent you become, we are interdependent beings. From knowing where the bakery with the best pastries is, needing help assembling furniture to needing a shoulder to lean on. Moving does not imply being alone. It can indeed be challenging and bring numerous obstacles, but it can also be filled with laughter, friends, and lightness.

The great fallacy of growing up is thinking that being an adult means not needing anyone. Self-isolating is to deprive yourself of self-discovery through others, to miss opportunities to discover yourself and see life through different lenses. Growing up is also depending on others, seeking a shoulder to cry on, a companion to watch a movie, help installing the TV. Although society tries to make us (increasingly) individualistic, we are social beings and need to create bonds. There is a whole world of people also seeking connections and community.

Either way, leaving the home where you grew up and being able to walk on your own feet brings changes – psychological, emotional, and even physical changes. These changes are accompanied by sometimes conflicting, sometimes soothing feelings. The key turning point is knowing that change is a great engine of discoveries, novelties, and, with that, new versions of yourself.